This January 19th, mark you calendars for the first inaugural “Gun Appreciation Day“, a day to celebrate our nation’s rabid and hysterical commitment to upholding the Second Amendment of our Constitution, even as the rest of the Good Book is left to deteriorate. The event is scheduled to coincide with Obama’s inauguration and to protest Vice President Biden’s recommendations for possible new gun control laws following the recent spat of mass shootings.
The website for Gun Appreciation Day calls for supporters of the Second Amendment to show up to “your local gun store, gun range or gun show with your Constitution, American flags and your ‘Hands off my Guns’ sign” to send a message to Congress and the White House that you will not surrender your right to bear arms. And you know what, I agree with them. I rarely leave my house without my arms and I don’t look forward to a day where I am told that I have to. Here is a recent picture of me displaying my American Pride (U.S.A. #1!!!) and my constitutionally granted right to bear arms:
Now Obama is saying that he wants stricter gun control regulations like more thorough background checks for potential mental illnesses. He also suggested a ban on assault weapons and high-capacity ammunition clips. I think this meme from the Gun Appreciation Day web site says it all:
EXACTLY! If you haven’t been in your share of gun fights like myself and my other gun-loving friends out there, you can’t possibly know how many rounds you might need to fight bad guys. I myself have been in many gun fights and I’ll tell you this: ninjas NEVER attack alone. They attack in gaggles of at least 30 or more. Thank God I’m always packing clips with a minimum of one billion rounds or we would be in some real trouble!
And let’s not call them “assault weapons” because, honestly, that’s entirely misleading. ANYTHING can be an assault weapon, including my cat, jello, beanie babies, and, worst of all, a pencil. I mean, you have no idea what I can do with a pencil. It is sick and disturbing and I won’t even explain it. Suffice it to say that I’d rather an oozie in the hands of my enemy than fully loaded Number 2 lead pencil. Those babies are dangerous! If Big Government is going to regulate something, they should first look to the menace that is laying dormant in schools and libraries all over the country, ready to attack at any moment.
There are so many great reasons to bear arms in this country. Government tyrants, civil war, the apocalypse, the Second Coming, Zombies. Bottom line: we need to be prepared. You never know what crazy plans the government is concocting to take over the world.
Alyssa Röhricht blogs at Crash Culture: Political Train Wrecks for Political Junkies